None shall pass

This is why I don't have a hobby: OCD w/depression.

Now, for decades I have known about the depression component and the way it screws with my existence, and in the last few years I've come to acknowledge the contribution that OCD has provided to making my life pleasant, but explaining 'how it works' to the non-crazy person is not always the easiest, and explaining it to the Mrs. is damn near impossible. Oh, for the joy of being raised on the set of "Make Room For Daddy" in rural white bread America. Not that TV is all that bad. Believe it or not, Ripley, the best explanation for a greater share of my behavior (especially the bad) came out as dialog on a TV show last night. Can't recall precisely which show, probably 'CSI.' They were talking about one of the victims and how she was OCD w/depression, and they proceeded to give one of the best explanations I have heard as to why she behaved the way she did. Even beat out what my last therapist said. Even made sense to the Mrs., who is a very intelligent individual who has often struggled with making sense of me.

That sounds worse than I thought it would.

Anyhoots, the concept that some thought gets mired in the chaotic bog and becomes "The Thought" (hence "The Behavior") is why I have some of the problems in my life that most people don't experience. It also explains why I don't really have a hobby, in the generally acceptable sense. Focusing entirely upon one thing to the neglect of all others is not a good practice, as a rule. Too bad, though. My hobby would probably be a great example of hobby-ness, as I suspect I would spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months...

Hey, wait a minute. How long have I worked on One Room? So much for that theory.

Here we are again

It is nearly time to throw away those reminders of what was and when they needed to be. Naturally, I would not want to keep old calendars, now would I? I'll just bet, however, that somewhere in the clutter is at least one, if not more, calendar from some year past. It was probably kept for some reason, like the pretty pictures or some significant date of importance. Actually, I think I know of one day-planner style calendar sitting somewhere gathering dust that is... 2008 minus 1988...twenty years due for trashing. I think I keep it as some kind of personal punishment. It is that kind of pathology that makes this project such an overwhelming undertaking that the general public will never really understand. Still, I trudge ever forward one room at a time (mostly), hoping that errors of the past will fade away.

Bullshit. There are some things that are so tough for me to throw away that it takes years before I am able to do so. There are some errors of the past that will never fade away, as they are frequently brought back out, shined up, and used to beat people like me over the head.

Thankfully, the Mrs. has kept from tossing me away for years, and in light of that, I make greater effort to remove stuff that I don't REALLY need to have around. Lately I have been going through Mom's stuff, and the remnants of Dad's stuff, and surprising myself with the ease of getting it out of the house. Coming across antiquated things can be fun, and while I'll be dead before I get rid of the early 1900's Apothecary Cabinet, sealed cans of tennis balls from the 1940/50's and old books are far easier to remove. Well, that is if someone buys them.