A Model World

Timing, as someone once said, is everything. Comedy, opportunity, food expiration. The best of these things are highly dependent upon the right timing. Recently, I discovered another thing that benefits from timing, that being listing items upon eBay™. Some explanation is in order.

This month is one of those transitional, do things other than the project months. Clothing had to shift from the dang-is-it-cold to the dang-it-is-hot wardrobe. School ends this month, which means that daily routines will change. Hehheh. This month, the outdoor tasks begin to take priority over the indoor tasks, and new things like watering the garden have to be remembered. This year, the beginning and end of this month are taken up by traveling and preparing for said traveling. This year, this month means the oldest offspring and spouse are transitioning to that stage of marriage known as Real Estate Indebtedness, with the required moving of things that suddenly don't look all that nice. This year, this month also brought the change from a generous supply of household freezer space to a generous supply of "ohmygoditisallthawed" food that had to be eaten (or tossed) and the associated task of figuring out what to do with the freezerbeast if it's broke.

In light of all this, it was decided to postpone the next GaYaPo sale until June, and I avoided listing things on eBay™ that would have to be shipped off to new homes. Granted, there are still the things on SwapSimple and halfdotcom that could suddenly become must have items during my absence, but given past history...well, I am not too concerned that anything will suddenly come into demand. Still, I did decide that there was a brief point in the middle of the month where I could list something on eBay™ and have the transaction complete before I had to travel. I figured that I would take one group of things that I had not listed before, and based upon how many GaYaPo sales they have sat through, I didn't figure that I would be required to wait for too many payments and have to ship off too many packages. Right. This is where that timing thing comes into play.

See, one of the things of which the project suffers is lack of exposure. When things are on eBay™, it is an opportunity to obtain some exposure. The more things that I list, the more potential exposure, especially if the things are popular. Dad's trains were popular, pulling in great numbers of views. Other things, not so popular. Who knew that model car kits would pull in the number of views, especially since they were hardly looked at during sales? In fact, who knew that I would have, of this writing, six of the nine items sold with another day to go? Who knew that I would have, of this writing, some of the biggest viewing hits of anything I've ever listed? Of course, I won't be listing anything else before the end of the month.

Timing is everything, and once again, my timing is a bit off.

Ever-expanding universe

While the project efforts seem to plod along in the slow traffic lane as real-life demands zip by in the commuter lane, I do manage to catch a bit of news now and again that gives a feeling of hope. Not that this has happened lately, but it does happen at times. I nearly have all the painting complete in the guest room, and some of the larger clutter in that room will soon be taking up space in another home, so I can see just the smallest bit of success on the horizon. As I was reflecting upon this piece of happy, I heard a news item regarding the discovery of some planet in some other galaxy that fit some scientific criteria for being like Earth.

Personally, I think this is cool, and not just because it opens up yet another potential market for my clutter. I think it is cool because there exists the possibility that some other planet is populated by living things. Should they be advanced enough, there exists the possibility they are aware of us. Should they be aware of us, there exists the possibility they would desire to come visit. Should they come visit, there exists the possibility that my favorite personal giggle could come true.

Yep, I would love to walk out of church on Sunday morning to find a spacecraft in the parking lot.

GaYaPo Sale

It's that time of year again. The time when the imaginations of youth call them from the other side of school windows, the imaginations of teens call them into the gutter, and the imaginations of deluded clutterers call them from the garages, yards, and porches of strangers. Yes, that glorious time when I once again set my worldly possessions out to be pawed and fondled by all manner of people. When my concept of value is challenged by those who offer give half of whatever price is on the tag, or less. When my ownership nerves are frazzled by watching my "favorite" item get loaded into the car of someone who can't ever love it as much as I did. This time, this particular sale, the first of this season, was a bit different in that I was more willing to sell things. Even the eldest daughter made some spending money selling off things to which she and her hubbie no longer felt attached.

And since I am tired from all the effort, I will end this now, perhaps to revisit the topic in the near future.

Dummie or Complete Idiot?

You know how you just know some things? Not just knowledge things, but all manner of things in general. For example, the other day I am out engaging in my vile, filthy, deadly habit and I just knew that the guy walking up the sidewalk was going to ask for a smoke. From half a block away I knew it. I suppose he has asked in the past, which is why I just knew he would ask again, and despite my best efforts to become invisible, there he was offering up a quarter and asking away. Another example. I just know the Mrs. will ask what I did today, which is more apt to become a focus upon what I didn't do. Again, it is probably the number of years of exposure to the Mrs. and her way, yet I just know she will do it. Another example, to which you might relate better. When driving, you just know which individuals are going to run the lights and stop signs, you just know that when you are in a hurry the slowest drivers will be in front of you, and you just know that when you need the wipers is when you will remember you didn't change them. Still, all these examples pale to that intuitive, hunchy-type knowing that borders upon paranormal. Not that I have any specific examples of that kind of knowing, but I am certain I have had those moments at various points in my life. I just, well…know it.

Still, I encountered another of those "I just know it" (or in this case, "knew it") moments this morning when I checked my email. See, over there (to the left) is a link to a site called SwapSimple. Interesting site it is, based upon a style of barter, and chock full of books, DVDs, and video games. Formed in part as an alternative to getting screwed by the campus bookstores and the used book buyers, the site invites people to join up and meet other swappers who might have what you need or need what you have, as relates to college texts and college distractions. Being farther removed from college than I may want to admit, I joined to appease a certain member of the genetic distribution, and have listed a few things from the clutter. I won't say how long ago I joined, but I will say that an item I listed yesterday became the first one of the many items I have listed that I need to ship out because someone else wants it. Funny thing, I just knew it would be snatched up in a very short time. It was the knowing that made me hesitate for weeks even listing it. It was the knowing that made the decision to list it yet another decision process, that being whether to yard sale it, eBay™ it, halfdotcom it, or SwapSimple it. It was the knowing that brought back memories of American Colonial History, and the slightly disgraceful sociological event that made Salem a common name, and I don't mean the cigarette (although there is some warped significance to an item that is ignited and burns and smokes being associated with the name 'Salem').

Again, a reminder: overwhelmingly college-aged member base SwapSimple has.

What did I list? Hehheh. After considerable internal dialog of a moral vein, along the lines of fighting a temptation to keep it and read it versus fighting an urge to incinerate it versus fighting the desire to visit Pastor and let someone else make the decision, I listed a book upon the SwapSimple site. It came from Mom's stuff. It is called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft.

Yet another rousing post of nothingness

Quite honestly, I've not done much at all in terms of the project. I suspect that it is because, quite honestly, I've not done much at all in terms of life. Post taxes stress disorder, I suppose. Today is a new day, however, so I am prepared to do battle with the clutter yet again, and tackle the required tasks needed to finish up with the guest room. Of course, the considerable wind whipping up today whipped up, in just the last few seconds, a new chore, that being the repair of my garage door. The fun never ends.

It's

And now for something completely different, a man who has just finished filling out his tax returns.

We can see by his head resting upon the table, this is a very tiring and trying process, but one which enjoys an annual invasion into the lives of most, excluding those with money who can afford the means to not pay taxes, let alone not fill out and file the returns. We know this because it is common knowledge. As the tax deadline is looming, it would not behoove the man to rest quite yet, but all attempts to arouse him have bordered on the obscene and have not managed to succeed to this point. In the spirit of community, it may be good of us to assist the man with the filing, as long as the filling has been finalized, so let's just take a peek, eh? We'll just move his arm, like so, and the pistol, like such, and carefully avoiding the pool of blood we find that he has indeed completed the form, and properly signed it. Finding no check for the $4600 in taxes owed, however, we must assume that he fell asleep prior to cutting the check, although it seems his wrist was more readily available than the checkbook. Not to worry, we'll just include the Form 666z-BM, the standard "Monthly Installments of Turnip Blood and Pig Wings" form, with the "will pay in full when soul is sold on eBay™" box checked.

In related news, George 7, Democracy 0.

Also to be noted, a rather large Yard Sale will be held weekend after next, barring unforeseen circumstances of apathy and drizzle.

A final note: God exists by two falls to a submission.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

Keeping the day job

I amaze myself at times with the number of distractions I can create to keep me from working on the project. Granted, I have listed a few new things on eBay™ in addition to the relists in order to reduce some of the new clutter, but it seems hardly enough to give a glowing report of things accomplished. A few of the distractions of late could be deemed legitimate, such as finding the required documentation for the caseworker who will hopefully present some financial assistance to pay off the HUGE debt accumulating with Mom's care. Or gathering up the items needed to complete the joyful task known as Tax Return Filing. I really don't mind filling out the forms, I just have this aversion to seeing how much I owe. This is probably why I have so many distractions for the distractions. One of my recent efforts to avoid battling the Tax Return Filing Beast, as well as to reduce the amount of sleep I receive, involved following through on one of those things that could be found on a "things to do before I die" checklist, if I had such a thing. Understand that this goes beyond the more common "things I ought to be doing," such as going to the Fitness Center and working out. The change of seasons allows me a bit more time outdoors, which tends to be less expensive than the Fitness Center, so I've been taking longer walks, generally on a daily basis. PT Lori might take comfort in that, especially if she discovers that I haven't been to the Fitness Center for a few weeks. In a way, "I ought to be working out" is being accomplished, just in less of trackable fashion. No, the recent effort to which I refer was definitely a "before I die" kind of thing.

It began with a sleepless night. I am not sure why it happens, but there are times when my brain decides to go into hyperactive mode just about five minutes after I go to bed. I have adopted the '30 minute rule,' which basically means that if I am still awake 30 minutes after I go to bed, I get up and do something. Usually the something is turning on some late night show or putting in a movie or following random links on the internet. This particular departure from the bed, however, I sat down at the computer and typed out the chaos that kept me from sleeping. The end result was an effort at creating [drum roll] a stand-up comedy routine. Hehheh. For years I have harbored this desire to determine if I could actually do such a thing, given my involvement in theatre, but self-censorship and self-doubt interfered with ever engaging in the activity. This time, however, I decided that the only way I would know if I could do it was to, well, do it. I took a small piece of what I wrote, found a local open microphone opportunity and sullied forth to discover that I was funnier five minutes after going to bed than I was hours before going to bed. Granted, the venue was not exactly the best for doing stand-up, so I might attempt once more to get up on stage and make perfect strangers laugh, but I will have to let the recent experience fade into the scary recesses of my brain that hold such things as auditioning for The Full Monty and taking the Jeopardy contestant test. In the meantime, I have a cluttered room calling out to me, and it isn't full of people wondering why the heck I'm there.