Kiss another joy goodbye

Everyone is happy with the Chantix-related actions of late, barring certain free market institutions and taxation entities. Well, everyone except the one person who is taking the drug. It really has little to do with the cessation of smoking and more to do with the side effect of the side effect. The Mrs. and I determined this quite by accident the other day, and after the last few days, I may have proven the theory correct.

Which, by the way, really bites it big time.

See, we have determined that the cause of a good share of the gastric disturbances may well be blamed in part to an interaction of Chantix and alcohol. Actually, both of us have a slight recollection of hearing some report on the same, yet we aren't sure where. I guess I could look it up, but I would rather look forward to the end of the Chantix. Giving up smokes is one thing, but giving up booze makes me sad. Next thing you know, I'll have to give up hoarding.

Wait…

My Casa is not Your Casa

Funny how the smallest things can influence the course of history, whether on a global scale or some more personal arena. Having someone over to potentially purchase the glorified recliner that Mom insisted we buy for her, an item she basically used as a nest in which to sit and watch TV all day, rarely using the expensive lift component (or the recline for that matter), I was struck with the tiniest bit of shame over the present state of clutter in the 'public' parts of the abode. While it did rekindle motivation to work on the project, it also rekindled a feeling from the past which is primarily responsible for the clutter in the first place. "It's my house, damn it."

Granted, I am not a hermit, and thus the feelings of the Mrs. must be taken into consideration, meaning that the philosophy of my parents needs to go out the door (along with Mom's chair). You know the one. "It's my house, damn it, and if you don't like it, don't visit." Still, I think everyone has that feeling at some point, although with slight variations. I guess that is why I developed this project, as my feeling is important, but so is the feeling of 'it's my house' that the Mrs. nurtures. "It's my house, and I would love for you to come over." While I can sweep out the personal shame of clutter with the broom of ownership, that same broom is hardly useful to mop up the shame the Mrs. harbors when people do come over to the house. And while I can perch myself upon my owner's throne and Xbox my life away, I have to remember that the Mrs. has thrown her owner's feelings into the cellar for far too long and the true motivation for this project stems from her feelings more than mine. Damn it.

So, here it is, another day, and while I would love to go exploring the virtual world, I need to attend to the…real…world. Finances are a bitch when you ain't got finances…

Butt For the Grace of God

It's been over a week, and lest I become an unreimbursed spokesperson for Chantix, I must say that it ain't been perfect. The ongoing gastric issues are tolerable, but the withdrawal symptoms are still there and make things tough. Granted, the "other little blue pill" seems to be making it easier to get through those moments when my body becomes flush with chemical desire and my habit-center pitches fits, but I can not say that the effort has been smooth. You try having nic fit at 2am or while you are driving and some dorf who thinks he is more important cuts you off. Yeah, that's how I roll of late.

Still, I managed to get a few more things related to the project accomplished, though not nearly as much as I could. Perhaps I will do better this week.

A low growl

While this whole quitting business is not as difficult as it could be, I still sense some of the withdrawal, most notably when I get the "sweats." I also notice that I am a little easier to anger than usual, but some of that may be related to dealing with other issues, such as my choice of replacement habits. That discussion would cause tremendous stress, so I suppose I will let it go.

What news of the project? Hmm. Well, the books I listed last week barely got a peek, let alone any bids, so I reckon I will need to relist them after I post some items a bit more popular. I would love to get the guest room finished soon, if not for benefit of the project, but also to be able to point out that I can get something finished. Not that it would matter, as there is always something unfinished waiting to be pointed out. Still, I do feel it would be nice to get something done, even if it is only this post.

Day Eight, or a new Day One

Two little blue pills, one for AM and one for PM. Hehheh. If only. Anyhoots, for anyone who reads this and doesn't finally have the last week of posts figured out, last Sunday I started a new approach to getting rid of this decades old habit of mine. No, not that one. Smoking. I have quit twice before, but still managed to jump off the wagon, so I am hoping that this third time will be the charm. To be honest, I am not 100% resolved, but it is the closest I've ever been. Because of other factors relating to the nicotine addiction, I decided to try Chantix [now I'm an advertisement for them], as it does not use nicotine to control the problem. Nope, instead it screws around with my brain cells. Like that's something new. Seems to be working so far, although I have felt some withdrawal effects today, and I worry that the Mrs. will tire of my smoking substitutes of sleeping and Xboxing. I keep telling myself that all I need to do is fight the urge for, uhm, four days and things will be a bit easier.

Right.

OK, so I think I'll go exploring for a bit, then do some other things a bit more productive, all in the hopes that I can distract my brain from this topic.

Day Seven

Still two little white pills, but I must be adjusting somewhat, as I have not noticed many side effects of late. In fact, most of the nine I had yesterday (and the one so far today) where conscious decisions to engage and not some "feeling" that I needed to engage in the habit. Truth be told, I was doing fine today until I was passively reminded of all the things being ignored as I explored Morrowind. Yep, it was fun to walk my character into the river, let him drown, and go out and light one up. Not sure what I'll do starting tomorrow.

Well, in the interest of appearing that I've accomplished things, I think I will take pictures of stuff, list stuff, move stuff, pay for stuff, and hide stuff today. This evening I will "Roll With the Changes," even if not in an official capacity. Couldn't justify the $35 cost to sit on the grass, let alone the $45 cost to make a mad dash for an unreserved seat. As long as I can hear the tunes, I'll sit in the free zone until it is "Time For Me to Fly."

Day Six

Two pills, little white ones, soon to be two little blue ones. Yesterday I kept it at nine. Maybe today at eight? It really matters not, as zero is fast approaching.

Finally started listing things again, so I'm in that mode. Not sure if a GaYaPo sale is in the near future, as we wanted to advertise, which means (for us) having a rain date. Too many busy weekends until, oh, September. I guess I'll see what I can do. Tonight, however, I get to enjoy my era music. LRB and KC on the same night? Hoohoo!!