You Only Thought I Was Done

I'd like to say that I removed all the clutter in the last few weeks since I last posted. I'd like to say it, but it would not be true. I have removed some via the trash collection service, and I am preparing to remove other clutter via the online adoption service ( known by most as eBay). There have been some serious modifications to the living quarters, soon to be discussed. I was selected to participate in the advancement of medical knowledge. Oh, yeah, and I have a job.

Heh.

Think I will just leave with that last little bit of news taunting everyone...

Just a moment

Well, I have to say that there are moments, and then there are moments. Like most human beings, I attach a value to moments, defining some as good and others as less than good. Take, for example, that moment while watching the AFI 10 Top 10 and realized I had ALL ten of the animation films, and patted myself on my back for my good taste in film. Or the moment that I looked at the table my son refinished and felt great pride in what he accomplished. After just a little guidance and a few tips from me, he worked diligently and transformed an old, stained second-hand cast off into a beautiful piece of furniture that deserves to be given a place of honor in any room. Or take, for another example, the moment I watched the backyard bunnies run around the garden, happy in the knowledge that the fence I put up was keeping them out. At least, keeping out the larger ones. I have to make some adjustments yet, as I noticed that baby bunny was able sneak in and dine on some of the garden growth. I guess that gave me a moment of frustration, but not a long one. I'll be "huntin' wabbit" soon enough.

Then there was another moment, also in the realm of frustration, that occurred recently. It had to do with the project. Way back when, early on in the project, I decided to add to the clutter, if only for a short time, and for the purpose of raising some money for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. One might recall (or can reread from the archived posts) that I bought a large lot of fast food toys. I sorted them, found a number of complete sets, a number of incomplete, and a few strays. The complete sets I listed, some of which sold, and made a few cents for the NMSS. The incomplete sets are still sitting...there. The strays, however, I put in a big, white garbage bag, so as to slowly ration them out into the 'Free Stuff' basket we use at our GaYaPo sales. Now, somewhere between the last sale and this moment I managed to, well, create a situation. During that situation, several bags of "garbage" went out to the local landfill. Fast forward to the current month, where I decided to sell items to raise money this time for the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America. Ready for the frustration? I searched and searched again for the complete sets that had not sold, all to no avail. A thought entered the chaos called my brain, and I searched for the big bag of near 100 stray toys. Not finding it, a new thought entered my chaos, and that moment flowered into further frustration. Yep.

Oh, well. Now the frustration has turned toward that fact that NOT ONE of the things I have listed for MSAA has sold, and I await a moment of joy to replace it. In the meantime, I continue on with the guest room...

Because of a cause

I was a bit distracted in late February and early March, the details of which I will leave undiscussed at this time. The distraction did cause me to lose track of the project, as I have mentioned earlier, and it also caused me to miss an event that is generally important to me. Just because I missed it, however, does not mean that I still can't observe it. In fact, I have even more reason to observe it now. Therefore, I am making June my own Multiple Sclerosis Awareness month.

Some explanation is in order. First, I have MS. Had it for some time now. Second, the disease has brought some health care procedures into my life that, well, are not cheap. The medicine I inject every day costs my insurance company nearly $2000 a month. While I don't have to pay that much for it, they manage to reclaim some of the cost by allowing me to pay a large portion of my annual MRI expenses. Some years our portion of the expense becomes quite a challenge for the Mrs. and me, but this year I am blessed. An agency known as the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America is paying for my portion of the cost. I am blessed.

In light of this, I am going to list some items on eBay during June and give 80% of the proceeds to MSAA. Kind of my way of giving back, since lack of employment makes it difficult to do anything else. I invite anyone reading this to check out what is available and pass along the word to others. Just look for "MSAA" in the title of my list of items for sale, and feel free to bid, bid, bid!!

Vacancy

Since I last wrote, I have put a fair amount of energy into the project. Probably more than I have in quite some time. Granted, I can make no claim that any ONE room has been completed, yet I have managed to remove a few items from the clutter. We also had a guest using the guest room for a few days, which made a bit challenging to do anything in the room, except perhaps take naps. Cats do love naps. Nearly as much as I do.

Yes, our guest was a cat. Not just any cat, not some stray we found sitting by the garage, which in truth we did. Beautiful little thing, too. Timid yet tame. Obviously a cat that has made some human happy. Yet, there was no room in our inn for that cat, as I was reminded, and so I told the cute feline to find the way back home. Then I went in and assured our guest he still had the room to himself. Mostly. Our youngest feline made a visit or two, or three. Or more. Sure, I allowed him in for most of the visits, but his longest visit was when he snuck in. When our guest left, our little guy had to follow and say goodbye.

So, time for me to get back to preparing our guest room for the next set of guests, who show up next month. Thankfully, I won't need to keep a food dish, water dish, and litter box in the room with them. Sadly, I doubt I'll be allowed to snuggle up and take a nap them.

Re-something

I was not sure how to title this post. I thought of 'resurrection' for a bit, but given that the word generally connotes something died, I opted out. Nothing died. Not me, not the project, not the intent and purpose of the project. All is still present. Me, the project, the clutter. Granted, there is a bit less of the clutter than the last time I put energy into it, but that only goes to prove the adage "a woman scorned" more than anything. Long story.

I thought of 'revival' for a bit, but that seemed more fitting for medical or religious topics, and while they both have some merit in the grand scheme of recent time, it still did not feel an accurate description for the project. Again, long story.

Recycle, reenlistment, reappearance. Nope, just not right. I admit that these words also work to describe the effort, and the life, but not the project. Once again, long story.

So I will just title this post as best I can, and pass the message along to anyone who reads this that there is stuff listed on SwapSimple, half.com, and eBay for the taking. Buying, rather. Please feel free to do so, and I will avoid the long story.

For those that care, and some that don't

Barring the other day, I had not posted much for some time. There are a number of reasons for this, as was stated back in January, but the biggest absence came from being unable to access a computer for a few weeks. It is amazing how having the ability to use a computer, a decent one, can bring the smallest bit of light into an otherwise dark existence. 

If at first

For all intents and purposes, this project has stalled. Perhaps even failed. No one to blame but me. The bright spot: the clutter is being...decluttered. Just not by me. More later I suppose...

Same old, different day

I can find plenty of reasons to kick myself, and the progress on this project is one. I am not sure what is contributing to the slowdown. Distractions, disagreements, disappointments. People with no clutter can't understand what happens to the cluttered mind of a clutterer, especially this one. Perhaps it's the reduction of meds, perhaps it is an undertow of depression. Perhaps it is looking at the Mrs. work her ass off, while I look at employment prospects and immediately negate myself. Ho, hum.

I have to go off and grovel for fundage at a local financial institution, mostly because I screwed up the whole Mom-in-a-nursing-home thing, and the Medicaid coverage didn't go back far enough. Wonder if I can give the home my clutter...or my soul?

Time flies and crashes around me

Confessing that I've done little to nothing with the project is easy. Explaining is another thing. Figured I could at least keep up with the blog a bit. And now I have, so time to go clean.

Like I needed it

Seeing as I want to keep this blog as relevant to the project as possible, I have signed up with a certain writing site, under the familiar moniker. In this way, I can give my tangents an arena more fitting, and even more visited. As soon as I can figure the means, I will add a link for you to go visit as you choose.

Keeping it honest

I thought about it, but decided against it. It just did not seem right, although it would have provided a superficial positive. Right now I have Mom's "collections" spread out on the bed, a couple of TV trays, and half the floor. I realized today that this was not the time to attempt organizing, and thought I would move it out to a different room so I could take a picture of the 'finished' room, then put it all back into the room. That would be wrong, however. So I did not do it. Instead, I decided I will clean up the guest room for keeps, then take the picture. Not sure what I will do with the "collections," but I am sure I will get them some day. Might even be worth more by then.

None shall pass

This is why I don't have a hobby: OCD w/depression.

Now, for decades I have known about the depression component and the way it screws with my existence, and in the last few years I've come to acknowledge the contribution that OCD has provided to making my life pleasant, but explaining 'how it works' to the non-crazy person is not always the easiest, and explaining it to the Mrs. is damn near impossible. Oh, for the joy of being raised on the set of "Make Room For Daddy" in rural white bread America. Not that TV is all that bad. Believe it or not, Ripley, the best explanation for a greater share of my behavior (especially the bad) came out as dialog on a TV show last night. Can't recall precisely which show, probably 'CSI.' They were talking about one of the victims and how she was OCD w/depression, and they proceeded to give one of the best explanations I have heard as to why she behaved the way she did. Even beat out what my last therapist said. Even made sense to the Mrs., who is a very intelligent individual who has often struggled with making sense of me.

That sounds worse than I thought it would.

Anyhoots, the concept that some thought gets mired in the chaotic bog and becomes "The Thought" (hence "The Behavior") is why I have some of the problems in my life that most people don't experience. It also explains why I don't really have a hobby, in the generally acceptable sense. Focusing entirely upon one thing to the neglect of all others is not a good practice, as a rule. Too bad, though. My hobby would probably be a great example of hobby-ness, as I suspect I would spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months...

Hey, wait a minute. How long have I worked on One Room? So much for that theory.